This opinion is not particularly controversial but I feel like it's one that should be said.
I've seen some stuff online bashing people for faking being one label or another because they changed their label. This doesn't sit very well with me at all for multiple reasons, although it has a small bit of truth in it despite its malicious intents. As someone who has changed their labels many times, I can tell you from experience that changing labels can be difficult and will feel exactly like that. In my case, I had seen a lot of stigma for the labels that felt best for me in addition to some misinformation that made it hard for me to accept myself. So I used the next best thing as I continued to repress myself. Some people use different labels because they're scared to accept themselves, so in a way, yes, they are faking, but this type of faking is not to be seen in anger but in pride because this person finally found who they were and is finally living their truth. Another reason is because they might have felt comfort in the label they were using and genuinely thought it was them, but found over time different labels fit them better. This is completely okay as well. I've also seen posts talking about how these changes contribute to harmful stereotypes about LGBT+ people. For example, women who go from using bi to lesbian are 'contributing' to the stereotype that all bi women are actually lesbians. Again, this would be the same thing as the the people in my first point- these people are finally living their truth. It shouldn't matter to you how many labels they've gone through to find themselves there. Lastly, and I think this is actually the most controversial part of the post: people who go back to id'ing as straight or cisgender after GENUINELY thinking they were otherwise are also valid. Experimenting with labels and identities are okay for everyone, and if at the end, you realize you were okay how you were, that's absolutely fine. Don't discredit everyone who switches labels just because some smart ass cishet decided to pretend to be LGBT+. It isn't fair. Do better Anyway, apology time: oops. These have been a CRAZY few months and things just kinda spiraled out of control for me. So I'm sorry!! I promise I'll start posting again, though perhaps not as often as I was before my accidental hiatus. Again, sorry :((( Hopefully I'll see you guys soon!! ~Cas (be gay do crimes)
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43-26. That was how many people were in favor of passing HB 1057, a bill that would restrict trans people under the age of 16 from using puberty blockers or having gender reassignment surgery, even with parents and doctor's consent. This isn't a law yet- but it will be soon, given the support the bill has seen within the state. If passed, trans (and intersex) youth will not have access to these lie saving procedures. It would be called the 'Vulnerable Child Protection Act' and would be classed as a Class-1 Misdemeanor. Doctors who perform them or could be slapped with a fine or jail time. If passed, it will be the first law of its kind to be enacted in America. This is harmful. All of it. This is telling trans and intersex (who could be in medical danger without some of these procedures in some cases) that they are second class. That they cannot live as their authentic selves. Studies show that trans students are more likely to be harmed and harm themselves and are happier when allowed to get surgery and/or take hormones. A SECOND bill has also been passed- on that would make it mandatory for school personnel to tell a student's parents if they suspect a student has dysphoria. This is so, so dangerous. What fi the student's parents are transphobic? What if they're sent to conversion therapy? There are so many things wrong with this, the least of which is that it could force a child out of the closet. This could get people killed. If you're so concerned about a child's safety, why would you make this a law? Besides this- the government should not be allowed to control what you do with your body. It does not matter if you are a child. If you want to take hormones and have surgery as a minor and have the consent of your parent or doctor, then you should have it. This action is blatant transphobia at its finest. We riot at dawn, gays (and allies). P. S. We love a bill sponsered by the same man who compared reassignment surgery to experiments done during the Holocaust. ~Cas (be gay do crime) This, I think, is one of the worst parts of being LGBT+. You know, besides being constantly oppressed for who we are. LGBT+ people are constantly fetishized or seen as a goal to fulfill. You know what I'm talking about. Straight men getting off to lesbian porn. Straight women who really want a 'gay best friend' but refuse to be friends with sapphic women because they 'don't want to be hit on'. People looking at trans men and going 'uwu what a soft bean!1!1'. People seeing trans women and saying 'look that's my muscle wife, she'll beat you up'. Constantly asking bi or pan people to have a threesome because they go both ways, right? The list goes on.
If you do this, you need to just stop. Especially since people like this can be such hypocrites. If I had to take a guess, if you're that het man who gets off to the porn, you're the same person who hits on lesbians and say that you could 'change their mind' (and then say that gay men hitting on straight men, even if its an accident, is predatory?) Those people asking for gay best friends can't even defend them because 'they don't agree with it'. Yeah, no. LGBT+ people are actual humans, with real lives and actual personalities. We are not here to be sexual desires or a trophy friend. If you do any of this, you're phobic. If you think like this, you're phobic. If you support people who do any of these things, you're phobic, and a coward, at that. LGBT+ people are sick an tired of this. We have enough problems to deal with than people who act like this. Y'all probably think you're allies to, right? You're wrong. Fix yourself if you think like this. You are feeding into the stereotypes and stigma around the LGBT+ community. You can't like this and be sad next time you hear something bad has happened to us. Because then it's obvious you don't care. You don't. You just act like it, just so you can check off the next box on you gay to-do list or whatever else you dumb cis hets have. It's infuriating. Anyway, I'm done going off. Sorry for the huge break in posting, I've been unmotivated and preoccupied :(. I'll try getting back to a more regular posting schedule. See y'all soon. ~Cas (be gay do crime) It's always been a debate: should we teach LGBT+ content in schools? For some people, the answer to that question is simple. More conservative-leaning or homophobic people would say no. Why influence our precious cis-het children? That's unnatural, people can only be straight or cisgender. And can we forget what God thinks? Now, I'm not saying that everyone who is conservative and/or religious thinks that way. But that's an idea that's hurting the youth of the United States, despite best efforts made by LGBT+ people and allies.
There is a rich history concerning LGBT+ people that are constantly side stepped or erased completely because of a stigma around LGBT+ people and teaching about people who are considered different. Take Alan Turing for example. If you haven't dug around in World War Two history or in LGBT+ history, you probably haven't heard of him. Alan Turing was a code breaker for the UK in World War Two who broke the code the Nazis were using and pioneered the invention of the computer. And almost nobody knows about him because once the UK government found out he was gay, they sent him to conversion therapy. He was never the same after that and he was snubbed out of most of history. It's more than that as well. Even if a child was cisgender and heterosexual, they need to know that this is normal , even if so much of society tells them no. And LGBT+ children need to be told that they aren't freaks that need to be fixed. If you tell children that heroes of history can be a certain way and that its fine and normal, they won't think they're monsters, and they can face less discrimination at school. Internalized homophobia is a real thing that can happen and can cause someone to be at war with themselves for years, if not their entire life. And it happens because their family, their friends, the whole world is telling them that its wrong and sick and that they need to change. How about sex education for queer kids? Schools have heterosexual sex down pat, but gay child are left hanging as they wonder how they can get it done. More often then not they turn to the internet, which can be unreliable if looked at in the wrong places. I was lucky enough to have gotten the general idea from a very handy book called This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson (who is a trans woman!). I recommend that book for a variety of reasons. It's well written and very informational, I'm absolutely in love with it. In conclusion: excluding LGBT+ people from school is not an option. If we want to move forward as a society, we need to continue to be more inclusive. There are more than just cis-het child out there. Are they the only ones we want to feel accepted in life? Feel free to mull that over, but just know- LGBT+ people are going nowhere. And maybe, just maybe, we'll change the world one day. ~Cas (be gay do crime) This list is based off of the LGBTQ+ Danger Index. You can go to the link, but this list is just the top ten safest. Right off the bat, I'm going to say that the United States is ranked 24, just to avoid that question. This list is based off of marriage laws, worker protections, laws against discrimination, criminalization of violence, adoption recognition, whether or not its a good place to live, if there are illegal same sex relationships, and if there are propaganda/morality based laws.
10- Spain, located in Europe 9- Iceland, located in Europe 8- France, located in Europe 7- Finland, located in Europe 6- United Kingdom, located in Europe (personally, I don't really agree that this because I always hear from my internet friends about how hate crimes happen all the time, especially in England. But I've never been and the people who originally made the list seem to think it's safe enough so I'm not going to argue it too much) 5- Belgium, located in Europe 4- Portugal, located in Europe 3- Norway, located in Europe 2- Canada, located in North America 1- Sweden, located in Europe It's important to know that these lists are based on facts, but they can also be a little skewed/biased, so always make sure to look up laws before you travel, or at least if you plan to be open in the country you're visiting. Also, I'd like to apologize for my lack of activity. I had a break in school and if I'm being honest, I'm running out of ideas of what to post. Also finals week is coming up, and right after that is my winter break so I have no idea how active I'll be in the future. So I apologize for that as well. Also, I'm aware my posts tend to be on the short side, so I'm ALSO sorry about that. I'm still figuring out this whole blogging thing. Have a good day y'all :) ~Cas (be gay do crime) Hey y'all! I'm trying out a new thing. For today's post, I interviewed Matt (who's popped up on the blog before!) and Ethan, two FTM teens. They were honestly super nice about the whole thing, they are amazing people sahgsdgadfddjhgafd. Anyways. The questions will be in bold and I'll use the first letter of their names to mark their answers. How does dysphoria/dysmorphia affect you on a daily basis? M: It’s kind of an underlying pain, and it’s on my mind a lot more than I’m willing to admit. Very few people actually know, and I’m too scared to tell more people about it, also. And I feel very wrong about it and really wish it would go away. So I guess it’s just a major annoyance. E: It’s constantly at the back of my mind at the end of the day. Its a major annoyance, yes! It affects my clothing choice to achieve the satisfaction I would like. At the end of the day, I realize it takes progress to get through this. Is there anything you wish cisgender people would know or understand about being trans? E: It's not a trend. Its something people really go through and make an independent decision on. I feel as if my body should be respected just as yours should be. M: It’s not really your business what I’m doing and what I want to do, or how slow I’m taking it. If you’re genuinely curious, I’m happy to explain. If you’re rude, you’re not worth my time. I didn’t make any of these choices for you, and I know what I’m feeling much better than you do. What's the most difficult part of being trans? M: All of it E: The most difficult part for me would be the lack of legal protection and knowing at 13 transgender women were killed for being who they were. I walk among people who I fear that will spill my secret and I could end up dead because of it. The fact that I have to constantly fear for the criticism and stigma is something I live with constantly! I have almost nothing. M: I mean. Mood. Also just. Dealing with it is hard. Dealing with all of it is hard. And a lot of stuff matters so much more than it should to a lot of people, like names and pronouns. How does society's perception of trans individuals affect how you see yourself? What about your family's and friends? E: The current society is slowly getting better at accepting (ever so slowly, sadly, I wish this progress would hasten) us, but it affects me into just being who I was. Its not satisfying to receive a negative sanction from someone like a look of disgust when you tell them. My family has slowly come to accept who I am and I'm happy about it. I do what I want. I could care less about how others feel about me. M: Honestly I’ve been seen as everything but a normal human being by a lot of people, but that’s mainly because of where I live I would guess. It’s just seen as not right to many and often brings up more concerns than I think it should, given everything I want isn’t anything I can’t go back on later, but everything is treated like it is. My family knows that I have dysphoria and really wish I didn’t, if I could live out this time as a cis person I would be more than happy to but I just can’t bring myself to do that. It feels bad knowing that when I want to even change my name a bit it upsets my family, but staying as I am hurts me a lot. If there's a day when you're feeling particularly dysphoric/dysmorphic, what do you do to ease those feelings? Is there anything the people around you can do? M: Most of the time I just feel Bad in general but when it's bad I wear hoodies and shorts no matter what the weather, although my normal tastes in clothes is really all over the place. People who know me can maybe just leave me alone about my dysphoria, personally I really don't enjoy talking about it more than I need to. E: To ease feelings of such, I usually talk it out or write it out through a piece of paper. Solving the issue that causes the feeling is what is most important to me but I want to do it in the safest way possible. I eat foods that generate higher levels of testosterone. I set boundaries emotionally. I assert my identity! M: Oh I also drink a shit ton of green tea Last one- is there any advice you have for individuals who have just realized they are trans? E: The best advice I can give is to dig into it. If you truly experience these feelings, I suggest doing research and asking trans individuals for assistance. They are the help and support you may need. Everyone's discovery is different. M: Be gentle to yourself. Make sure you take your time. Be accepting of your feelings no matter how they change. Be careful, make sure you don’t rush anything when you’re not ready. Know what matters and what doesn’t, know what you won’t be able to go back on. But be strong. Only you really know where you stand on these issues. Be kind to yourself, no matter what. It’ll be bad, really bad, at points, but you’ll be happy in the end if you are careful and gentle with yourself and your emotions. Sometimes it’s hard when you have to wait, or your family is unaccepting of you. But it will get better, your first priority is your safety. Get some good supportive friends that can help you. But only you know how you truly feel, and it will be your choice and your choice only in the end, no matter what. So there you have it. I LOVE THESE TWO BOYS I SWEAR Once again, you can find Matt on Instagram @grayblueart and contact Ethan with his email, [email protected]. I will FIGHT anyone who sends hate I stg. ~Cas (be gay do crime) A proposed rule by the Trump administration would allow foster care and adoption agencies to deny their services to LGBT + families on religious grounds.
This proposal would have a monumental effect on many people. The Department of Health and Human Services introduced it on November 1st, at the beginning of National Adoption Month. If implemented, it would roll back a 2016 discrimination regulation put in place by the Obama administration that included sexual orientation and gender identity as protected classes. Any foster care or adoption agency would be free to turn away LGBT+ couples. Critics said the rule would allow organizations to place their personal religious beliefs above the needs of children in their care, but the administration countered that it was not preventing LGBT+ people from adopting. “The administration is rolling back an Obama-era rule that was proposed in the 12 o’clock hour of the last administration that jeopardizes the ability of faith-based providers to continue serving their communities,” the White House said in a statement. “The federal government should not be in the business of forcing child welfare providers to choose between helping children and their faith.” According to the Adoption Network, there are more than 400,000 children in the foster care system in the United States. More than 114,000 cannot be returned to their families and are waiting to be adopted. The Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law estimated in a report that 114,000 same-sex couples in 2016 were raising children in the United States. Same-sex couples with children were far more likely than different-sex couples with children to have an adopted child, 21.4 percent versus 3 percent, the report found. Reports have also found that same-sex couples are more likely to adopt children of color, mentally or physically disabled children, LGBT+ children, and teenagers. But yeah, let's keep them from adopting children. I hate humanity sometimes. ~Cas (be gay do crime) Hello! I love each and every one of my readers (there's roughly 20 of y'all weekly). I cherish your time, and want to maximize it and make it the best it can be while you're on this blog! So can you please do this survey (just click the button on the bottom and it'll send you to it)? It would mean the absolute world to me. Thanks, I love you guys :,)
~Cas (be gay do crime) H E L L O and welcome. This book traumatized me a bit, not gonna lie. For today's post, I'm reviewing Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman, a book about an Italian boy named Elio who falls for an American named Oliver, and they become fuck buddies I guess. They never really got into a relationship.
I am going to do two reviews: one spoiler-free review, and one hella spoiler filled. Without further ado, allow me to start ranting This is the non-spoiler review. You may proceed without having any big parts of the book be spoiled. Okay so overall the book wasn't horrible. But the bits that got to me really got to me. We're not gonna get into it here, but it will be discussed in my spoiler review. Elio, the main character, is about as relatable as he can get for a kinky bi teen in the 80's. His partner/fuck buddy/romantic interest Oliver is an interesting character as well, even if it is frustrating to watch him dance around circles with Elio. Elio has pretty strong feelings for Oliver but doesn't really have a good outlet for it besides a lot of weird shit and eventually a shit ton of sex with Oliver. The book is nostalgic and gets into love that doesn't go anywhere for real but stays with you for your whole life. There is no real message to the book but it was an entertaining read nonetheless. The characters are real, mostly relatable, and well established. It's written quite poetically and has a beautiful feel to it. You really feel like it's summer in Italy and I will give Aciman that much. On a scale of one to five Call Me By Your Name gets a three and a half. It's something different but for someone as vanilla as me it really goes into some weird territory. Maybe some of my kinkier people here might enjoy that but it really was quite off-putting for me. This is the spoiler part of the review!! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT CALL ME BY YOUR NAME SPOILED FOR YOU. Hhhhhhh. I don't even know where to begin. I don't think any part of this is going to be particularly positive, because all of my problems with Call Me By Your Name is one giant ass spoiler. Anyways. Elio is k i n k y. Like I understand that he's a teenager, they're all horny little shits, but JESUS. He can't get over his want to just. Fuck. And it gets so bad he starts having an affair with another girl, Marzia. Which is not a bad thing because he is not in a relationship with Oliver, but he literally cannot keep it in his pants. Also I'm pretty sure that Elio has a foot/toe fetish because he has a weird fascination with Oliver's feet and he mentions sucking on his toes and kissing feet. This is not the weirdest fetish one can have but as I mentioned before I am vanilla and this stuff is a little gross anyway. At one point Elio puts on one of Oliver's swimsuits and I kid you not, masturbates in it. And then he takes a second to like, roll around on Oliver's bed?? It's technically his bed but whatever. He says he puts his legs around his pillow (which Oliver is sleeping on) so that's still weird as hell. When Oliver and Elio go to Rome for Oliver's book party, Oliver uses the restroom and then Elio's just like 'no don't flush it I want to know every part of you' like okay gross but you do you. OH BUT IT GETS BETTER! Get ready for this shit. ELIO FUCKS A PEACH AND ACTUALLY GETS OFF FROM IT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP IT'S SO GROSS I'M DONE. Like Elio actually sticks his dick in a peach and fucks it. And then Oliver visits him and EATS THE COME FILLED PEACH I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP. And then they have sex but whatever they're always doing that towards the end of the book. Also, they moan their own name to each other when they fuck?? Hence 'call me by your name'. So besides all that it's fine, it's fine. If you are kinky you can really get into that shit if you want to. And for the record, I'm not kink shaming, I just don't like the graphic descriptions of all the weird stuff. Y'all do what you want to do. So yeah. That was my review for Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman. Have a gay day y'all. ~Cas (be gay do crime) Hi!! I'm here today with some tips for my Female to Male trans followers, (love y'all). These are just general tips, all of which I've double checked so that I don't accidentally give you tips that'll get you hurt or worse (I'd feel really bad okay).
Foods that will lower estrogen: -Cruciferous vegetables, such as broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, and kale -Mushrooms -Red grapes -Whole grains -Turnips -Mushrooms And also green tea! Foods that will boost testosterone: -Tuna -Low-fat milk, specifically some with Vitamin D (for that dick you need lmao) (okay I'm done) -Egg yolks -Fortified cereal (it just means that there's more vitamins and shit, it's good) -Oysters/Shellfish -Beef -B e a n s -Bananas -annnndddd Brazil nuts! For my men who can't afford a binder and/or can't get their parents to buy them for various reasons: Email gc2b (that's a high end binder company) and explain your situation, they'll send you one for free! And in discreet packaging! Also about your binder!!: -Your time to wear it will be different than some others. The space of time you should wear it is between 6 to 10 hours. It could be a little less, and you really shouldn't wear it longer than that. -NEVER WEAR IT OVER NIGHT, PLEASE. Yeah dysphoria/dysmorphia sucks big time. But you need to allow yourself to breathe unrestricted. Leaving on your binder for too long can lead to breathing and circulation problems, and those problems can get worse or lead to different ones. -Also, please don't bind with bandages or tape. They are not made to be worn on your chest, and it can really mess up your ribs (cracked ribs and collapsed lungs) and cause skin irritation. Also, it may damage your breast tissue so much you might not be eligible for top surgery in the future (if that's something you want). -Try to breathe with your diaphragm, not your lungs. That way you can still, you know, breathe, but it puts less pressure on your lungs. Tips for passing a little better/making yourself feel less dysphoric: -Short haircuts (cut off pointy sideburns, they make you look a little more feminine) -Button down shirts from the men's section are great!! You know they're mens because the buttons are on the left side. -Cologne with more traditionally masculine scents like sandalwood. -Try packing. It can help a bit with your dysphoria, and god forbid if someone looks down there to 'double check', it can keep from questions. -Try out exercises for both your voice and your chest and arms. Voice: https://www.laspeechtherapysolutions.com/2015/12/22/11457/ Chest+arms: Chest and arm exercises can help with dysphoria, and having a wider chest??? I guess is the term, can make you appear more masculine. https://thetranslifter.com/the-best-chest-exercises-for-trans-men for your chest, and https://riverrunswild.com/blog/2018/7/17/shoulder-arm-workout-to-get-bigger-ftm-fitness for your arms/shoulders. Not all of these exercises can be helpful and they could potentially harm you if you are new to working out. So please don't take these hella seriously, and look at other resources to help. These are just examples. Stay safe y'all. -Fill in your eyebrows!! Men usually have darker eyebrows, so depending on the color of them you can use mascara or a brow powder if you need to. -Talk to other FTM people! Support groups are helpful!! -If you aren't happy with your name right now, experiment with some new ones until you find one that clicks. Some final notes from me that actually aren't tips but are me trying to make you feel better about yourself because I know things are really, really hard: You are amazing! You are valid! This is so hard to go through, and you're doing it anyway. It shouldn't have been you. You should have been born in a boy's body. But that fact doesn't make you any less a man. You are strong and brave and one day, you WILL be happy with yourself. It's a process, but you'll make it. You have got this. I love all of you so much and you deserve the world. That's all I have today. At some point there will be a MTF tips post because I also love all of y'all and want to. But for today, this is what I've got. Again, I love you all. Stay safe :). PS my best friend and literally the greatest person ever is ftm! His name is Matt (short for doormatt) and he has offered his services. Contact him on his Instagram, @grayblueart for anything, he's literally the best. ~Cas (be gay do crime) (and for today, be trans throw hands) |
Hello!My name is Cas, and I'm a asexual panromantic teen. I created this blog to make a safe space for everyone lgbt+. Here I will offer advice as well as look into lgbt+ pop culture, history, and current problems in our world today. Archives
July 2020
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